Muzzily Muddled

The life and times of a 30-something recent law school graduate trying to understand the past, figure out the future and scrape through the present in one piece.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Random musings on infertility, religion, medical intervention, and being overly sensitive.

You know how sometimes people say things that are unintentionally insulting?  And sometimes, we are just way too sensitive to a certain issue, so we take umbrage with innocuous comments that were never meant to be insulting and wouldn't be insulting to the vast majority of people?

Yep.  I'm that person right now.  Finding insult where none was intended.

Some completely random woman on a pregnancy discussion board just announced her pregnancy, and posted this:  "My doctor told me I would not be able to get pregnant without medical help. Well, we believe God has children planned for us and we refused to listen to the doctor."

And me, in my excessively-sensitive way, automatically leapt to the conclusion that she must think that God doesn't have children planned for anyone who does require medical help.  Now, I know that's not what she said.  I also suspect that she would never have meant for it to sound like that.  But, for some reason, I have a hypersensitivity to this type of comment.  To me, it's tantamount to telling a cancer patient that he or she should forego medical treatment because God doesn't have a longer life on earth planned for that person.

I am so, so very happy to be pregnant.  I cannot wait to meet this charming little boy who is kicking up a storm as I type.  Only 12 more weeks!!!  But I have a feeling that it will be a long time, if ever, that I can move past all the emotions tied into infertility.  Someone else I know initiated a discussion this past week about whether having a baby "cures" the emotional aspects of infertility.  I suppose it might for some people, but I don't see how it can for everyone.  Having this baby doesn't change the fact that we will need to do IVF if we ever hope to have another child.  And, although I'm not always the most religious person, I really cannot buy into the notion that God doesn't "want" us to have kids.

I don't dwell on infertility.  But comments like the one above will probably always trigger a heightened, overly sensitive response from me, whether or not it should.

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