Muzzily Muddled

The life and times of a 30-something recent law school graduate trying to understand the past, figure out the future and scrape through the present in one piece.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

My favorite time of the year!!

I admit it.  I'm a recruitment junkie.  I adore this time of the year, the excitement, the anticipation, the nervousness, everything that goes into sorority recruitment.  So, here is my completely random photo blitz of Gamma Phis and Gamma Phi symbols, past and present, in honor of all current and soon-to-be Gamma Phi Betas!!  <3 <3 <3

Saturday, August 20, 2011

3L Year in t-40 hours

Monday is the first day of classes for my last year of law school, which makes this a good time to look back a bit.

About four years ago I started to think that I might like a career change.  It was a scary thought.  I had a very comfortable job with a company I absolutely loved.  I had some seniority.  I had job security.  I had great coworkers.  But I was bored.  So. Very. Bored.  The department I had moved into didn't have a lot of upward mobility, and I couldn't see that I would be able to do anything less boring for some time.

And I thought that I might really enjoy a legal career.  Since law school seemed seriously cost prohibitive, I decided to look into working as a paralegal.  But that wasn't so easy, either, since I was overqualified to be an entry-level secretary, but underqualified to be a real paralegal.  I took some paralegal classes at the community college, and decided to bite the bullet and leave my beloved but boring job.  I took a job that I was overqualified for just so that I could get some experience.  The experience I got told me that I really needed to go to law school!  So, that's what I did.  And I am very, very glad to have made that decision.

First year was actually a lot of fun, although I had some major culture shock issues the first several weeks.  Being nine years older than the straight-out-of-undergrad types may not sound like a huge age gap, but it was, particularly at first.  But I do still consider it to have been a fun, enjoyable year, and I met some absolutely amazing people that I am sure will be some of my best friends for years to come.  :)  Second year was not quite as fun, but that really has nothing to do with law school, and everything to do with the mental and emotional turmoil that comes with infertility treatments.  I survived the year, and as I've posted on this blog before, this summer really has helped me to move past some of the unpleasantness of the past year.

I'm really, really looking forward to this last year.  I'm excited about the classes I'm taking.  I'm looking forward to less stress in general, and being able to focus on learning again.  I even hope to push myself a bit this year and see what I can accomplish academically when I really try.  Not that I haven't tried so far, but I've always had at least a class or two each semester that I've not given my all to, and I don't think that I've really proven to myself what I am capable of.

17 hours in the fall, 13 in the spring, and then it will all be behind me.  The first two years went by very quickly, and I am sure that this one will fly past.  Hopefully I'll make some good memories in the process!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

So Thankful for this Restorative Summer

I am incredibly thankful for every moment of this summer.  As a collective experience, the past several weeks have reminded me of who I used to be and who I want to be again.  And that is an incredible blessing.

The name of this blog perfectly illustrates how my life has been for a good bit of time.  I've just felt mentally muzzy all the time, like I wasn’t quite on top of my game and couldn’t focus when I needed to.  And I've felt completely muddled, as if I had no center and no real direction.  I’m certainly not saying that those feelings are gone!  I think that I’m just that type of person who tends to be muzzy and muddled at times.  J  That’s ok with me! 

But it’s incredibly refreshing to feel like I’m standing on solid ground again.  I had a great experience with my two summer classes, so much so that I’m more excited about starting the fall semester (3L!!!) than I had any expectation of being.  I also had an amazing experience with my summer associate position, and it restored my confidence that I made the right decision to go to law school in my 30s.  This is work that I thoroughly enjoy, and it’s also work that I am genuinely good at.  It's work that I will be happy doing until I retire.

Plus, the biggest weight on my mind for the past two years has been lifted, in the most amazingly perfect way.  I’ll get into more detail about that in the future, but suffice to say that I am blessed.  Blessed and very, very happy. 

I’m the glass-half-empty type, so this feeling of peace and contentment is pretty novel for me.  So again, I am so very, very thankful for the way my soul has been restored this summer.  I cannot wait to get started with my last year of law school and the next great adventure in my life.  Come what may, I know that I will always be a stronger person for the experiences of the past year or two.