Muzzily Muddled

The life and times of a 30-something recent law school graduate trying to understand the past, figure out the future and scrape through the present in one piece.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Tunnel vision

I have real tunnel vision issues.  Or, maybe that's not the best term for it.  What I mean is, that I get so focused on one part of my life that other things fall by the wayside.  I am a great multi-tasker when it comes to little things, but when it comes to the big, overarching themes of my life, I'm lucky to handle more than one at a time.

Example:  First year of law school, I was primarily focused on school.  Not 100%, but it was the biggest thing for me.  Yes, I was also thinking a lot about trying to get pregnant, but that didn't take over.  I was mostly tuned into school, into getting a good job for the summer, into doing well on finals and proving myself.

Second year, I was primarily focused on fertility treatments.  I was still going to classes of course, still doing what needed to be done, still looking for a good job for the summer, etc.  But my focus shifted,  Not ideal, I suppose, but that's the way it was.

Third year?  Hell, I don't know.  :)  I want to be focused on school again.  Promise!  But now I'm pregnant (yay!!!) and my focus has shifted to being a good mom, on "growing a baby" as I like to call it.  I need to finish this year out strong.  I need to be able to find a good job after graduating.  But, it's more important to me now that I do the best that I can to bring this child into the world and care for him or her.  Not that this is a bad goal, but the problem is that I get so focused on it that other things, like school, fall to the wayside.

I'd like to find some balance.  Balance is good, right?  I'd like to find some way that I can focus on school when I need to, but still take care of myself and the baby the way that I want and need to.

I've spent the last 8 weeks sick sick sick.  Morning sickness and migraines and a nasty cold that turned into nastier bronchitis.  I'm finally starting to feel like a normal person who doesn't need to sleep 12+ hours a day. So, consider this post to be my reminder to myself that, while it was laudable and right to take a few weeks to  heal and to sleep and to ensure the best health I could for the sake of my growing baby, it's now time to shift my focus a bit and knuckle down with the books.

I'm a smart girl.  Surely I can grow a baby, plan and plot for a newborn, all while keeping up with school and graduating with a decent GPA, right?  Sure I can.

I can!  I just have to lose a bit of my baby tunnel vision I've got at the moment.  :)

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Rally Squirrel & Cheagle Adorableness

Don't know what a rally squirrel is?  You must not be from St. Louis, and you must not follow postseason baseball.  :)

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Random pics with my new camera

Um, the title says it all.  Got a fancy schmancy new camera.  Took some practice pics.  Don't know what I'm doing, but it's fun.  :)



My lladro, purchased in Spain in 1998

Pandas from the future nursery

Wedding flowers from my wedding that happened 10 1/2 years ago

1923 white gold Gamma Phi Beta badge that I call my own for now, will be donated to our international HQ one day

Thursday, October 6, 2011


I've been pretty much avoiding blogging lately because I knew I couldn't keep myself from talking about being pregnant!!!  Which I am!!!

For those who know me, or who have read some of my earlier posts, you'll know that we did our second round of IVF this summer.  The second IVF was the culmination of two long years of trying for a baby, and it is so, so very exciting that we are now expecting!

So I thought I would do a little review in pics of the baby so far.  I'll be 15 weeks on Saturday, so the newest pic is a few weeks old.  Squee!!  How cool is this??!?!?!??

The two 5-day blastocysts we transferred.  One implanted, one did not.  With a 5 day embryo, I was considered 2 weeks, 5 days pregnant when they were transferred.  :)

Baby at 5 weeks, 4 days (5w4d)

Baby at 6w4d

Baby at 7w2d 
(pics going forward are on my OB's equipment, instead of the fertility specialist, so they look jut a bit different)

Baby at 9w3d

Baby at 11w3d

Baby at 12w3d