Rally Squirrel & Cheagle Adorableness

Don't know what a rally squirrel is?  You must not be from St. Louis, and you must not follow postseason baseball.  :)

Random pics with my new camera

Um, the title says it all.  Got a fancy schmancy new camera.  Took some practice pics.  Don't know what I'm doing, but it's fun.  :)

 

  

My lladro, purchased in Spain in 1998

Pandas from the future nursery

Wedding flowers from my wedding that happened 10 1/2 years ago

1923 white gold Gamma Phi Beta badge that I call my own for now, will be donated to our international HQ one day

Baby-to-be

I've been pretty much avoiding blogging lately because I knew I couldn't keep myself from talking about being pregnant!!!  Which I am!!!

For those who know me, or who have read some of my earlier posts, you'll know that we did our second round of IVF this summer.  The second IVF was the culmination of two long years of trying for a baby, and it is so, so very exciting that we are now expecting!

So I thought I would do a little review in pics of the baby so far.  I'll be 15 weeks on Saturday, so the newest pic is a few weeks old.  Squee!!  How cool is this??!?!?!??

The two 5-day blastocysts we transferred.  One implanted, one did not.  With a 5 day embryo, I was considered 2 weeks, 5 days pregnant when they were transferred.  :)

Baby at 5 weeks, 4 days (5w4d)

Baby at 6w4d

Baby at 7w2d 

(pics going forward are on my OB's equipment, instead of the fertility specialist, so they look jut a bit different)

Baby at 9w3d

Baby at 11w3d

Baby at 12w3d

Day late, dollar short, what's done is done, blah blah blah

Even though I haven't seen any of these posts for a few days, a friend's recent post coupled with some lively discussion on a discussion board I follow has prompted me to write this.  My apologies for the lack of timeliness.  Deal with it.  :)

So the most recent "breast cancer awareness" game on facebook has been to post a random week and a craving, pretending that you are pregnant and are having a craving for some junk food.  Now, I realize that this seems like it is all fun and games.  And I won't be nearly so eloquent or vehement as some of the very well-written blogs I have read on the subject.  But, here are my two cents.

Ten to 15 percent of couples in the United States are infertile.

12.2 percent of women born in the United States today will develop breast cancer at some time in their lives.

When you are dealing with infertility, and someone jokes about being pregnant, it hurts.  You may not understand if you've never had trouble getting pregnant, but trust me, it hurts.

So, on facebook, we are encouraged to show support for one tenth of the female population while humiliating/embarrassing/angering one tenth of the "couple" population.  How is that helpful?  How does that promote breast cancer awareness?  What about the women and men of reproductive age that have cancer, and as a direct result of their life-saving treatments, become infertile?  Fertility preservation and fertility rescue is pretty new and not available to most cancer patients.  I would think that, if someone lost their ability to have a child because of breast cancer, they may not feel supported by a facebook status where someone pretends to be pregnant.

Infertility is one of those issues that almost no one ever talks about.  And it's a real shame.  And yes, as a society we do tend to be hypersensitive to too many things.  But please, for the love of all things lovable, please think before you post.  Does posting "I'm 25 weeks and craving chocolate" or something similar really help spread awareness about breast cancer?  Or does it maybe confuse your friends and family, and hurt the hearts of your friends who cannot have a child or another child?  You may not know that they are dealing with infertility, because more likely than not they haven't advertised the fact.  But, 10-15% of couples is a large enough part of the population that I can almost guarantee that several of your facebook friends are infertile.

Breast cancer is a terrible thing.  But please, don't try to support one part of the population while being insensitive to another part.  

My favorite time of the year!!

I admit it.  I'm a recruitment junkie.  I adore this time of the year, the excitement, the anticipation, the nervousness, everything that goes into sorority recruitment.  So, here is my completely random photo blitz of Gamma Phis and Gamma Phi symbols, past and present, in honor of all current and soon-to-be Gamma Phi Betas!!  <3 <3 <3

3L Year in t-40 hours

Monday is the first day of classes for my last year of law school, which makes this a good time to look back a bit.

About four years ago I started to think that I might like a career change.  It was a scary thought.  I had a very comfortable job with a company I absolutely loved.  I had some seniority.  I had job security.  I had great coworkers.  But I was bored.  So. Very. Bored.  The department I had moved into didn't have a lot of upward mobility, and I couldn't see that I would be able to do anything less boring for some time.

And I thought that I might really enjoy a legal career.  Since law school seemed seriously cost prohibitive, I decided to look into working as a paralegal.  But that wasn't so easy, either, since I was overqualified to be an entry-level secretary, but underqualified to be a real paralegal.  I took some paralegal classes at the community college, and decided to bite the bullet and leave my beloved but boring job.  I took a job that I was overqualified for just so that I could get some experience.  The experience I got told me that I really needed to go to law school!  So, that's what I did.  And I am very, very glad to have made that decision.

First year was actually a lot of fun, although I had some major culture shock issues the first several weeks.  Being nine years older than the straight-out-of-undergrad types may not sound like a huge age gap, but it was, particularly at first.  But I do still consider it to have been a fun, enjoyable year, and I met some absolutely amazing people that I am sure will be some of my best friends for years to come.  :)  Second year was not quite as fun, but that really has nothing to do with law school, and everything to do with the mental and emotional turmoil that comes with infertility treatments.  I survived the year, and as I've posted on this blog before, this summer really has helped me to move past some of the unpleasantness of the past year.

I'm really, really looking forward to this last year.  I'm excited about the classes I'm taking.  I'm looking forward to less stress in general, and being able to focus on learning again.  I even hope to push myself a bit this year and see what I can accomplish academically when I really try.  Not that I haven't tried so far, but I've always had at least a class or two each semester that I've not given my all to, and I don't think that I've really proven to myself what I am capable of.

17 hours in the fall, 13 in the spring, and then it will all be behind me.  The first two years went by very quickly, and I am sure that this one will fly past.  Hopefully I'll make some good memories in the process!

So Thankful for this Restorative Summer

I am incredibly thankful for every moment of this summer.  As a collective experience, the past several weeks have reminded me of who I used to be and who I want to be again.  And that is an incredible blessing.

The name of this blog perfectly illustrates how my life has been for a good bit of time.  I've just felt mentally muzzy all the time, like I wasn’t quite on top of my game and couldn’t focus when I needed to.  And I've felt completely muddled, as if I had no center and no real direction.  I’m certainly not saying that those feelings are gone!  I think that I’m just that type of person who tends to be muzzy and muddled at times.  J  That’s ok with me! 

But it’s incredibly refreshing to feel like I’m standing on solid ground again.  I had a great experience with my two summer classes, so much so that I’m more excited about starting the fall semester (3L!!!) than I had any expectation of being.  I also had an amazing experience with my summer associate position, and it restored my confidence that I made the right decision to go to law school in my 30s.  This is work that I thoroughly enjoy, and it’s also work that I am genuinely good at.  It's work that I will be happy doing until I retire.

Plus, the biggest weight on my mind for the past two years has been lifted, in the most amazingly perfect way.  I’ll get into more detail about that in the future, but suffice to say that I am blessed.  Blessed and very, very happy. 

I’m the glass-half-empty type, so this feeling of peace and contentment is pretty novel for me.  So again, I am so very, very thankful for the way my soul has been restored this summer.  I cannot wait to get started with my last year of law school and the next great adventure in my life.  Come what may, I know that I will always be a stronger person for the experiences of the past year or two.